Of the many “profound risks to society and humanity” that have tech experts worried about artificial intelligence (AI), the spread of fake images is one that everyday internet users will be familiar with.
Deepfakes – videos or photographs where someone’s face or body has been digitally altered so that they appear to be doing something they are not – have already been used to spread political disinformation and fake pornography.
These images are typically malicious and are used to discredit the subject. When it comes to deepfake pornography, the vast majority of victims are women. Generative AI – technology used to create text, images and video – is already making image-based sexual abuse easier to perpetrate.
A new set of laws in the UK, will criminalise the sharing of deepfake pornography. But with the attention on AI and deepfakes, we cannot forget how less sophisticated technology can be used as a tool of abuse, with devastating consequences for victims.
Tech and control
When I began my research into technology in abusive relationships, deepfakes were just a blip on the horizon. My work focused on the role of smartphones in the abuse of women who had fled controlling relationships. I found that perpetrators of domestic abuse were using technology to extend the reach of their power and control over their partners, a modern take on abuse tactics that were used long before smartphones were in every pocket.
Mobile phones can be used directly to monitor and control, using GPS tracking or by bombarding a victim with texts, videos and voice calls. One participant in my research in 2019 explained how her abusive partner used his phone to access social media, sending her offensive pictures via Instagram and persistent and offensive WhatsApp messages.
When she was out with her friends, he would first text, ring and then video call her constantly to check where she was and to see who she was with. When the participant turned off her phone, her then-partner contacted her friends, bombarding them with texts and calls.
This participant felt too embarrassed to make arrangements to meet with her peer group and so stopped going out. Others in similar situations might be excluded from social plans, if friends want to avoid being contacted by their friend’s abuser. Such social isolation is a frequent part of domestic abuse and an important indicator of controlling relationships.
According to the domestic violence charity Refuge, more than 72% of people who use its services report abuse involving technology.
Mobile phones are a gateway to other gadgets, via the “internet of things” – devices that are web-connected and able to exchange data. These tools can also be weaponised by abusers. For example, using mobile phones to change temperature settings on a household thermostat, creating extremes from one hour to the next.
Confused by this, people seek explanations from their partner only to be told that this must be a figment of their imagination. Gaslighting techniques such as this make victims question their own sanity which undermines their confidence in their own judgment.
Deepfakes often target women as tools for abuse.
A modern panopticon
With the click of a button, mobile phones allow for unprecedented surveillance of others. In the pocket of a perpetrator, they can be used to keep tabs on current and former partners any time, any place and – signal permitting – anywhere. This gives perpetrators a power of omnipotence, leaving victims believing that they are being watched even when they are not.
This brings to mind the work of the 18th-century philosopher Jeremy Bentham, who introduced the concept of the “panopticon”. Bentham proposed a “perfect” prison system, where a guard tower sits in the centre, surrounded by individual cells.
Isolated from one another, prisoners would see only the tower – a constant reminder that they are permanently watched, even though they cannot see the guard within it. Bentham believed such a structure would result in the prisoners’ self-surveillance until eventually no locks or bars were needed.
My most recent research shows that mobile phones have created similar dynamics within abusive relationships. Phones take the role of the tower, and perpetrators the guards within it.
In this modern panopticon, victims can be out and about, visible to strangers, friends and family. Yet because of the presence of the phone, they feel they are still being watched and controlled by their abusive partners.
As one participant put it: “You feel there’s no freedom even when you’re out. You feel like you are locked up somewhere, you don’t have freedom, someone is controlling you.”
Survivors of abuse continue to monitor themselves even when the perpetrators are not there. They act in ways that they believe will please (or at least not anger) their abusers.
This behaviour is often viewed by others as strange, and too readily dismissed as paranoia, anxiety or more serious mental health issues. The focus becomes about the victim’s behaviour and ignores the cause – abusive or criminal behaviour by their partner.
As technology becomes more sophisticated, the tools and strategies available to abusers will continue to evolve. This will extend perpetrators’ reach and present new opportunities for surveillance, gaslighting and abuse.
Until tech companies consider the experiences of domestic abuse survivors and build safety mechanisms into the design of their products, abuse will continue to remain hidden in plain sight.
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic to gain power and control over someone. Recognizing the signs of gaslighting is crucial, as it plants seeds of uncertainty in a person’s mind. This self-doubt makes the person question their reality.
The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1944 movie “Gas Light.” In the movie, Gregory, played by Charles Boyer, tries to make his wife Paula, played by Ingrid Bergman, question her reality. He makes the gas lights flicker but when she notices it, he tells Paula it’s all in her mind. These lies and deception keep her feeling off-balance and disoriented.
Gaslighting happens in toxic relationships and is a form of psychological abuse. It is common in romantic relationships but can also occur in family or workplace settings.
Gaslighting is so disorienting that victims often don’t realize it’s happening. It can harm your mental health and well-being if not addressed.
Here are 15 signs of gaslighting in a relationship.
Signs of Gaslighting
1. Lies: The Foundation of Gaslighting
People who engage in gaslighting are often habitual and pathological liars. They typically lie blatantly and consistently, refusing to back down or change their stories in the face of evidence. Even when the truth is clear, gaslighters can be very persuasive. They might twist stories to cast themselves in a better light or falsely accuse you of being mistaken, forgetful, or distrustful. A common example is denying having an affair despite clear proof, such as incriminating texts.
This relentless lying is more than just a manipulation tactic; it’s a hallmark of a toxic personality that leaves the victim in constant doubt and confusion. Regular deceit can be extremely disorienting, making it difficult to trust others and severely impacting mental health.
2. Denying Reality, Erasing the Truth
Gaslighters will frequently deny events or insist they occurred differently from how you remember them. For instance, they might deny promising to do something for you or claim they never shouted at you when they did. Common phrases from gaslighters include, “I never agreed to that,” “Did you forget again? I’m worried about you,” or simply, “That never happened.”
They often deny lying, hurting your feelings, or any wrongdoing. Instead, they insist you misunderstood, remembered incorrectly, or are fabricating things to hurt them. They might even blame you for your reaction rather than taking responsibility. These denials can erode your sense of reality, making you doubt your own memories.
3. Attacking What You Love Most
Gaslighters use manipulative tactics to make you question yourself and your values by targeting what you hold dear. If you love your job, they might criticize it, making you doubt your career choice. If you have children, they might make you feel like a terrible parent. For example, “You shouldn’t have had kids if you can’t handle them.” By attacking what you love most, they are targeting your identity and sense of self-worth.
Gaslighters may also mock your hobbies, favorite movies, or fashion choices. Harmless teasing turns into constant belittling of your interests. The goal is to slowly erode your self-esteem and to rely on their approval. Gaslighters believe they know what’s best for you and make you doubt your judgment. Their aim is to make you dependent on them, stripping away your autonomy and reinforcing their control.
4. Words Versus Actions: The Empty Promises
Using words to hide or excuse bad behavior is another sign of gaslighting. They may say they care about you but their actions may be inconsistent with love and care. For example, they might claim to support you while criticizing your choices. They may promise to help with chores but never lift a finger. Or, they might say they value your opinion but constantly dismiss your ideas and feelings. If someone consistently behaves the same way, believe the pattern, not the promises.
5. Mixed Messages: The Intermittent Reinforcement Trap
Gaslighters mix positive reinforcement with criticism to confuse you. They may insult and belittle you one day and offer affection and praise the next. This mixed messaging leaves you feeling uneasy and questioning your perception. You might think, “Maybe they aren’t so bad.” The constant switching between kindness and cruelty is disorienting. You never know what to expect, leaving you always off-balance and unsure of your standing.
6. Twisting Your Words: Conversations Turned Upside Down
Gaslighters use many tactics to manipulate conversations and twist words to their advantage. They talk in circles, deflect questions, repeat your questions, flip the conversation onto you, and shift blame. They may also use your words against you in order to make you feel guilty or ashamed. These strategies disorient and overwhelm the listener.
When confronted, they might change the subject to avoid accountability. They may use sarcasm or passive-aggressive comments to subtly undermine your confidence. They may also use charm or flattery to manipulate your emotions, making you more susceptible. Another tactic is ‘putting words in your mouth.’ For example, if you express that you are overwhelmed and need space, they might respond with, “You don’t care about me at all.” They take what you have said and apply a different meaning to your words than what you intended.
These methods divert attention from their actions and obscure the truth, making it hard for you to identify the manipulation or argue back.
7. Projecting: The Blame Game in Gaslighting
Projecting is when the abuser blames their own negative characteristics or behaviors on the victim. They accuse you of doing things that they are actually doing themselves. This tactic manipulates your perception of reality and adds to your confusion. For example, they might accuse you of cheating when they are the ones being unfaithful. Or, they might tell you that you are being paranoid when that is how they are feeling.
The gaslighter projects their own inadequacies onto the victim to maintain power and control. This tactic not only distorts your reality but also makes you feel responsible for their behavior.
8. Calling You Crazy & Questioning Your Sanity
A frequent tactic of abusers is telling you that you’re crazy. This makes it hard for you to trust your own judgment. Gaslighters use this strategy to make you believe your thoughts and feelings are wrong or exaggerated. They might say things like, “There’s something wrong with you,” or “You’re overreacting.” They also use phrases like, “You’re just imagining things,” or “You need help.”
A gaslighter aims to erode your confidence and make you doubt your sanity. By repeatedly saying you’re crazy, they keep you fearful and insecure, which makes controlling you easier.
9. Changing Rules and Shifting Goalposts
A gaslighter creates uncertainty by changing rules and expectations without warning. They might say they are fine with their partner spending time with friends of the opposite sex but then become jealous and controlling when it happens. This unpredictable behavior confuses their partner.
By constantly changing the rules, the gaslighter gains power and control. Their partner never knows what to expect or how to act. This keeps the partner off-balance and makes it easier for the gaslighter to manipulate and control them.
10. Everyone Else is A Liar
Among the signs of gaslighting is telling you that everyone else is lying and against them. They do this because they know you can get support and validation from others. When you talk to others, you can cross-check your memories and perceptions. By saying everyone else is lying, the gaslighter makes you doubt this support.
This tactic blurs your sense of reality and makes you rely more on the gaslighter. Without outside validation, you further question your own thoughts and memories. This gives the gaslighter more control over you.
11. Manipulating Reality
One of the most extreme forms of gaslighting is when someone manipulates your reality. For example, in the movie “Gaslight,” Gregory changes the gas lights and tells Paula she’s imagining it. This vindictive strategy includes hiding objects and pretending they know nothing about it. They might say, “You lost your keys again? You really have a problem with your memory.”
Another example is moving things around and denying it. They could say, “Why do you keep misplacing things? You need to be more organized.” These actions make you doubt your memory and perception, and really feel like you are going mad!
12. Minimizing Your Emotions
Gaslighters will often undermine or minimize your emotions to make your reality seem invalid. They accuse you of being “too sensitive,” “hysterical,” or “overly emotional,” making you feel unjustified in your anger, even when it’s valid. They constantly downplay your feelings or the importance of events. For example, if they lose a large sum of money gambling and you get upset, they might say, “Don’t be so dramatic,” “It’s not that bad,” or “You’re acting very childish.”
Additionally, they might tell you that your emotions are irrational or illogical, insisting that you shouldn’t feel the way you do. They may try to convince you to “get over it.” Remember, your feelings are valid and deserve respect, even if they don’t align with your partner’s opinion.
13. Triangulation: Third Party Chaos
Triangulation is a tactic used by gaslighters to manipulate and control their victims. It involves referring to other people to create doubt and confusion. For example, a gaslighter might say, “Even your friend thinks you’re being irrational,” which makes you question your own judgment.
The gaslighter also uses triangulation to manipulate relationships. They might say, “I heard your sister saying you’re too sensitive. Maybe she doesn’t want to spend time with you anymore.” This creates conflicts between the victim and their support network, weakening their connections.
By involving a third party, the gaslighter can create a sense of solidarity and support for their viewpoint, making it harder for you to argue against it. For instance, “Everyone at work agrees with me that you’re overreacting.”
Gaslighters use triangulation to isolate you and make you more dependent on them for validation and support.
14. Exploiting Your Vulnerabilities
When a gaslighter knows your vulnerabilities, they will exploit them to gain control. For example, if they know you are self-conscious about your weight, they might make negative comments about your appearance. They can use past traumas to manipulate, saying hurtful things like, “Your father left because he didn’t care about you.” If you’ve had substance abuse or mental health issues, they will use this to make you doubt yourself. For instance, “You seem stressed, I hope you aren’t slipping back into your old habits.” These tactics are extremely hurtful and aim to destroy your self-worth and confidence.
15. Countering Your Memories
Countering, a common gaslighting tactic, involves the abuser challenging the victim’s memories and perceptions. The gaslighter questions the accuracy of the victim’s recollection, making statements like, “Are you sure that’s how it happened? You always mix things up,” “You’re remembering it wrong; I never said that,” or “That’s not how it went; you must be confused.” This approach aims to make the victim doubt their own memory, leading to confusion and self-doubt, and ultimately trust the abuser’s version of events instead.
Recognizing and Escaping Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a severe form of mental and emotional abuse. When someone gaslights you, it creates a fog of uncertainty and self-doubt, gradually wearing down your self-confidence. This form of manipulation is extremely harmful to your well-being, leading to confusion, anxiety, depression, insecurity, and low self-esteem. It can leave you feeling isolated and helpless.
If you find yourself constantly questioning your reality, feeling anxious, and apologizing excessively, these are signs of gaslighting, and you might be a victim. If you suspect you are being gaslit, it’s important to set clear boundaries, seek support from trusted friends or professionals, and consider ending the relationship if the abuse continues. Taking action to stop gaslighting will protect your mental health and help you regain your sense of self.
Marc Masterton, 26, has been jailed in England for coercively controlling his former girlfriend, Zoe Castle, during two years of what she described as “horrific” abuse. This is not Masterton’s first offence; he had previously been sent to prison for 41 months last year for the same crime against another partner, Chloe Holland, who tragically committed suicide. Masterton pleaded guilty to the offence against 24-year-old Zoe Castle while they were in a relationship in Southsea, Hampshire.
The BBC reports that Ms Castle said it was hearing about Chloe Holland’s experience that finally gave her the confidence to report Masterton to the police. In her victim impact statement read at Portsmouth Crown Court, Ms Castle said she had lived in “constant fear” of Masterton, who was already in prison following his previous offence. “He would always make me feel like I was the one to be blamed and that if I just didn’t say anything, he wouldn’t have done it,” she said [via BBC].
Zoe Castle’s Harrowing Testimony
Ms Castle and Masterton began their relationship in 2017, when she had just turned 18. He moved into her flat in Southsea, where Ms Castle was living with her young daughter. Initially, there was a honeymoon period, but soon, Masterton’s true nature surfaced.
The court heard acts of violence included the victim being hit over the head with a glass bottle, cut on the finger with a knife, thrown into a wardrobe, and an incident where Masterton picked her up and placed her in a freezing cold ice bath.
Victim Impact Statement
According to The Portsmouth News, Ms Castle’s statement descontrcribed the abuse, which lasted for two years, as the “very worst time of my life.” She has since been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. “I have lived in either constant fear of being beaten or losing the most precious thing in my life, my daughter,” she said. “He made me know I had no choice but to stay and accept his constant abuse. I was his property and if I wanted out he would contact social services and say whatever he needed to to have my daughter taken from me – I believed him.”
Their relationship ended in 2019 when Masterton was sent to prison for an unrelated offence. It was not until 2023 that Ms Castle found out Chloe Holland had also been abused by him.
Passing sentence, Judge Michael Bowes KC said Masterton’s behavior had had a “devastating effect” on Ms Castle and praised her for her “bravery in coming forward.” He ordered the latest sentence be served consecutively to the sentence for the offences against Ms Holland and issued a restraining order to protect Ms Castle. Masterton was jailed for a further three years and seven months at Portsmouth Crown Court.
Masterton’s First Victim, Chloe Holland
Chloe Holland’s case was described by police as a “horrific campaign of coercive and controlling behavior.” Ms Holland had reported Masterton for domestic abuse and provided a two-hour video submission to police that led to his conviction.
Ms Holland died in hospital in March 2023 after attempting to take her own life. Her mother, Sharon Holland, has since begun campaigning for coercive control offenders to face more severe legal consequences, reflecting the severe impact of their actions on victims.
Police and Public Reactions
Police staff investigator Nikki Brogan expressed strong condemnation of Masterton’s actions. “He has a history of subjecting his partners to some of the most heartbreaking and appalling campaigns of domestic violence involving physical assaults, control, and psychological abuse,” she said. Brogan emphasized the importance of taking reports of coercive control seriously and the need for robust legal measures to protect victims and hold offenders accountable.
The public reaction has been one of shock and outrage at the extent of Masterton’s abusive behavior. Advocacy groups for domestic violence victims have called for increased awareness and resources to support those experiencing coercive control. They stress the importance of early intervention and the provision of safe avenues for victims to report abuse.
Featured image: Marc Masterton. Source: Hampshire Constabulary.
Seeing someone endure abuse is tough under any circumstance. It’s not always obvious how to respond when you recognize the signs of abuse. Your first instinct might be to “rescue them” from the relationship, but abuse is a complex issue. Abuse manifests in many ways and people stay in abusive relationships for numerous reasons. Understanding how to help can make a significant difference.
How to Help with Emotional Support
Experiencing domestic abuse leaves deep emotional scars and is an immensely traumatic experience. Individuals in any phase of an abusive relationship, whether they are still in it, planning to leave, or have already left, need dependable support systems. They face a whirlwind of complex emotions, including fear, confusion, guilt, and hope. Navigating these feelings and determining their next steps requires compassion and understanding of those around them. Reliable support can provide the emotional stability they need to regain their confidence and take control of their lives.
Providing Emotional Support
Believe and Listen: Offer unwavering support, listen attentively, and believe what they share. Avoid comments like, “He seemed so nice.”
Acknowledge Their Struggle: Recognize that their situation is challenging and praise their bravery in trying to regain control.
Avoid Judgment: Refrain from judging or criticizing them for staying in the relationship. Remind them it’s not their fault.
Respect Their Feelings: Don’t speak ill of the abuser. Victims often have a complex mix of feelings toward their abuser and may still feel very attached to them.
Be Consistently Supportive: Support them whether they leave the relationship or return to their abuser. Remember that they are the ones who must make decisions about their lives.
Build Confidence: Focus on boosting their confidence. Highlight their strengths and acknowledge their resilience.
How to Help with Practical Support
Domestic abuse victims often find themselves financially dependent on their abuser or without access to necessary resources. This dependency can make it incredibly challenging for them to leave the abusive situation. Providing practical or material support to your loved one can help them reclaim their independence.
Provide Practical Support
Provide Financial Assistance: Offer financial help or guide them to resources that provide monetary support to gain independence.
Help with Employment: Assist them in finding job opportunities or training programs to achieve financial self-sufficiency.
Identify a Support Network: Help them find a network for physical needs like housing, food, and healthcare.
Encourage Social Activities: Motivate them to engage in activities with friends and family. Abusers often isolate victims.
Connect to Services: Research local and national support services. Encourage them to seek help from these resources.
Offer Moral Support: Accompany them to service providers or legal appointments for moral support.
How to Help with Safety Planning
Safety planning involves preparing for any stage of leaving an abusive relationship, whether they are planning to leave, in the process of leaving, or have already left. Leaving isn’t always an option for everyone, so a safety plan might need to focus on staying safe while still in the relationship.
Develop a Safety Plan
Code Words: Establish a code word they can use to signal when they need help.
Emergency Essentials: Store important documents or a “go bag” for them in case of emergency.
Spare Keys and Documents: Keep a spare set of keys or important documents for quick access during an emergency.
Document Abuse: With their permission, document instances of abuse with photos and notes. Maintain a log of incidents.
Supporting Their Decisions
Regaining control and agency is crucial for victims and survivors. Support their decisions rather than pushing them into actions they may not be ready for, such as reporting to the police or seeking counseling.
Keep in mind, you can’t “rescue them” or fix their situation. Watching someone you care about suffer is tough, but they must decide their own course of action. Dictating their choices only adds to the disempowerment inflicted by their abuser. Offer your support regardless of their decision, even if you disagree.
By providing emotional and practical support and helping with safety planning, you can make a meaningful difference in their journey to safety and independence.
David Edward’s tragic story, as highlighted in a BBC special report, brings the often overlooked issue of male victims of domestic abuse into sharp focus. David, a lifelong supporter of Chorley FC and described by friends as a brilliant dad and a well-respected man, met a cruel fate at the hands of his new wife, Sharon Edwards, who murdered him in 2015.
His story began with subtle signs of abuse, which quickly escalated into severe physical violence. Despite these clear warning signs, like a broken collarbone and inconsistent stories about its cause, David, like many male victims, suffered in silence. He was influenced by societal stigma and the fear of humiliation.
David was even forced to wear makeup on his wedding day to conceal a black eye. Tragically, just two months later, he was fatally stabbed in the chest. Sharon Edwards was subsequently convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment at Manchester Crown Court.
David’s case underscores the daunting challenges that male victims of domestic abuse face, particularly the societal pressures that discourage them from reporting the abuse. It is estimated that only 10% of male victims report their abuse, often due to the stigma associated with being a man and admitting to being controlled or hurt by a partner.
David’s reluctance to seek help and the extreme outcomes of his abuse highlight the critical need for increased awareness and resources for men experiencing domestic violence.
Featured image: David Edwards had to cover up a black eye on his wedding day. Source: Lancashire Police.
David Edwards, a respected solicitor from Chorley, Lancashire, met a tragic end at the hands of his wife, Sharon Edwards, just two months after their wedding in Las Vegas. The 51-year-old was found dead in his bed, the victim of a fatal stabbing that not only ended his life but also cast a stark light on the often-overlooked issue of domestic violence against men.
Sharon Edwards, who consistently denied her guilt, was convicted of murder and sentenced to life imprisonment, with a minimum term of 20 years.
Signs of Abuse Ignored
According to The BBC, the details surrounding David’s death are as harrowing as they are tragic. In the months leading up to his murder, he sustained 60 external injuries, including stab wounds and other marks indicative of severe physical abuse. Sharon claimed these injuries were the result of accidental falls while David was intoxicated. She maintained this claim after his death, saying he walked into the knife she was holding.
However, evidence presented at Manchester Crown Court painted a grim picture of long-term bullying and control, culminating in the deadly attack. Mr. Justice William Davis noted Sharon’s “bullying and violent nature,” stating that her actions had robbed the community of “a decent man.”
A Systemic Failure to Protect
David had even appeared at his own wedding with a black eye, an injury his wife absurdly claimed was self-inflicted with a hotel phone. Despite these visible signs of violence, several opportunities to intervene were missed by medical professionals.
A domestic homicide review later criticized local GPs and hospital staff for not probing the obvious signs of physical abuse. David did confide in a paramedic about the abuse, but procedural failures meant this report was never escalated.
The Struggle for Recognition and Support
David’s case highlights a broader issue within society—the reluctance to acknowledge male victims of domestic violence. Statistics from the Office for National Statistics, cited by the Mankind Initiative, a charity supporting male domestic abuse victims, show that one in six men will suffer from domestic abuse in their lifetime. Despite this, male victims often face significant barriers in seeking help. This is compounded by societal expectations and a lack of targeted support services.
“This appalling tragedy proves once and for all that men, as well as women, are victims of domestic abuse,” a press release from the ManKind Initiative stated. “It is vital that men in these abusive relationships seek help from the police, call helplines and speak to those they trust. A decade or so ago, men may struggle to have been believed, that is not the case now, there is real help out there.”
The Urgent Need for Awareness and Action
The tragic death of David Edwards serves as a crucial call to action for increased awareness and resources dedicated to helping male victims of domestic abuse. It challenges the stigma that prevents many men from seeking help and encourages a reevaluation of how domestic abuse is perceived and handled across all genders in our society.
Do you have a real story of coercive control and domestic abuse that you would like to share? Please visit our Share Your Story page for more details.
Featured image: Sharon and David Edwards married in Las Vegas in June 2015. Photo: Ross Parry
In a disturbing case of coercive control, Mark Holloway, 54, of Cardiff, has been convicted for invasive and abusive actions after secretly bugging his wife’s office to listen in on her private therapy sessions. This disturbing behavior is part of an increasing trend where abusers use technology to dominate and stalk their partners.
Relentless Abuse and Control
According to Wales Online, between August 2020 and July 2022, Holloway engaged in a sustained campaign of coercive behavior towards his wife. This abuse escalated to physical violence, including an incident where he yanked her by her hair, held her over a bannister, and attempted to punch her, causing bruising to her ear. Over the months, Holloway obsessively monitored all aspects of her life, scrutinizing her phone, social media, and personal appointments. He frequently accused her of dressing attractively for other men and demeaned her appearance.
The pattern of abuse included several severe incidents. In one, following a dispute about work, Holloway aggressively charged at her with a clenched fist and choked her while breaking down in tears. In another, after spending a weekend away, he returned home intoxicated, stormed into their bedroom, and verbally and physically assaulted her, accusing her of infidelity. When she tried to call for help, Holloway forcibly took the phone from her. Fortunately, the police arrived shortly after and arrested him.
Legal Recourse and Sentencing
During the sentencing at Newport Crown Court, Judge Matthew Porter-Bryant addressed the gravity of Holloway’s actions, stating, “Your victim was left questioning herself and had low self-esteem. The happier she was the more unhappy you became… I am satisfied at times you wanted to humiliate your former wife.”
Prosecutor Roger Griffiths revealed that Holloway had echoed statements his wife made during her therapy sessions, indicating he had bugged the office where these sessions were held. He also threatened to defame her on social media and disclose an alleged affair to her friends.
Holloway was sentenced to 33 weeks in prison, suspended for 18 months, indicating the court’s commitment to both punish and rehabilitate.
Technological Abuse on the Rise
The use of spyware and hidden devices by abusers highlights a sinister facet of modern coercive control. As technology becomes more embedded in everyday life, its misuse in abusive relationships provides perpetrators with powerful tools to harass and dominate their partners. This case underlines the urgent need for awareness and protective measures against such technological abuse, which can significantly impede a victim’s ability to seek help and escape abusive environments.
Featured image: Woman in online therapy session. Source: Srdjan / Adobe Stock.
In the wake of numerous killings of women allegedly by men’s violence in 2024, thousands of Australians have joined rallies across the country to demand action and better responses to all forms of domestic, family and sexual violence.
Some have called for a perpetrator register or a domestic violence disclosure scheme – a resource people can check to find out if a particular person has a documented history of domestic violence. This history could include things like prior convictions, intervention order histories and other non-domestic violence related offending such as property offences.
In Australia, only South Australia has a domestic violence disclosure scheme. New South Wales piloted a scheme in 2016 but it was discontinued in 2018. No other state or territory has introduced a scheme, but several have considered the idea.
So, how well do these schemes work to improve safety for women? To find out, we interviewed scheme users, specialist service providers, legal practitioners, academics and policy makers in Australia and New Zealand.
Our new research, funded by the Australian Research Council and published today by Monash University and the University of Liverpool, found they may not improve safety for victim-survivors.
What is a domestic violence disclosure scheme?
In Australia, domestic violence disclosure schemes (such as the one operating now in South Australia and the one piloted then discontinued in NSW) have broadly had three objectives:
to strengthen the ability of the police and specialist service providers to provide appropriate protection and support to victims at risk of domestic violence
to reduce incidents of domestic violence through prevention of future harm
to empower people to make informed choices about their safety in their relationships.
Each of the schemes are administered differently. In some cases, applicants can lodge an application online. In others, an applicant must lodge their application directly with the police.
Confirming existing suspicions
We interviewed 11 people who had used a domestic violence disclosure scheme. With the exception of two, each had already separated from the person they were seeking information about.
Each person had experienced some form of abuse before separating and before accessing the scheme. Several also held suspicions about their partner’s abusive behaviours in prior relationships.
All applicants interviewed, except one, got information about their partner’s history from the domestic violence disclosure scheme. In one case, the applicant’s request was denied. She was not told why.
Many applicants said the information they received didn’t come as a surprise, but rather confirmed suspicions they already held about their partner’s history of abuse.
In other words, most applicants interviewed in this project used the scheme after they had already left the relationship and had experienced abuse.
This signals the scheme is working different to intended. Not as a scheme to prevent violence from occurring in the first place but rather as a scheme that confirms decisions made to separate from an abuser after violence has already occurred.
Timely information is key
For information sharing to be effective it must be timely. But our interviewees reported wildly different experiences in this regard; the time between making the application and receiving the disclosure ranged between one week and three months.
An evaluation of the since-disbanded NSW pilot scheme reported similar “clunky” and time-consuming data sharing issues.
Do we have the reliable data needed to support this scheme?
Domestic violence disclosure schemes rely on the collection and sharing of reliable data about perpetrators’ histories.
But a vast amount of domestic, family and sexual violence in Australia goes under-reported. Histories of violence documented by police may fail to capture a full picture of the risk an individual poses to their intimate partner.
If a woman contacts a domestic disclosure scheme about her partner or ex and learns they have no record of them having a violent past, this could create a false sense of security for her, potentially raising the risk level.
Effective information sharing means national information sharing. But under the NSW pilot scheme, for example, offences occurring in other states and territories were not shared with the person contacting the domestic violence disclosure scheme. A state-based scheme risks lulling applicants into a false sense of security when their partner’s history of violence in another state is not visible in the state they currently reside in.
Enhancing access to supports
Advocates of domestic violence disclosure schemes often position it as an additional pathway to services and safety planning for victim-survivors. It is framed as an early intervention scheme which connects victim-survivors with support services, including safety planning, risk assessment and management, and counselling.
Numerous applicants in our study did not receive follow-up support of this kind. Sharing information with no follow up supports and safety planning may put the applicant at greater risk of harm.
Failing to provide follow-up support represents a missed opportunity to enhance the safety of victim-survivors and offer crucial supports to an individual who has sought help.
We need to fund what actually works
Australian states and territories – in partnership with the federal government – are moving ahead with the delivery of the National Plan to End Violence against Women and Children 2022-2032. There is a critical need to scrutinise not only what works, but what doesn’t work well.
Domestic violence disclosure schemes are expensive, thanks to the cost of the administrative workload, data sharing, training and provision of follow-up support services.
Our research suggests domestic violence disclosure schemes may not improve safety for victim-survivors of intimate partner violence. Given the scale of the crisis we face, our research suggests the resources required to run them may be better spent elsewhere.
Lisa’s experience of coercive control is a poignant example of the severe impact of non-physical abuse. Though her home appeared serene and her life ostensibly unblemished to outsiders, inside her walls, a different reality prevailed.
Her partner’s manipulation began subtly—criticisms about her friends, her past, and her choices became routine. This relentless undermining slowly eroded her self-esteem, making her question her own perceptions and sanity. She was labeled a “freak,” “psycho,” and “weirdo,” insults that, over time, seeped into her self-concept. This verbal and psychological abuse is particularly insidious because it chips away at the victim’s identity and sense of worth without leaving visible scars.
This abuse escalated into more overt forms of control and terror. Lisa’s partner would deprive her of sleep, an act of psychological warfare meant to weaken her physically and mentally. He manufactured accusations and scenarios that positioned her constantly on the defensive. The impact of these tactics was profound: Lisa began to exhibit signs of depression and anxiety, classic responses to prolonged stress and fear. Such psychological torment is often minimized because it lacks physical evidence, yet its effects can be just as debilitating as physical violence.
The repercussions of this coercive control extended beyond Lisa’s psychological health and into her professional life. Her abuser’s interference at her workplace threatened her job stability, further isolating her and increasing her dependency on him.
Lisa’s experience underscores the essential truth that psychological and emotional abuse can be just as life-altering as physical abuse, and recognition is the first step towards intervention and support.
A concerning trend has been identified in Australia, where child support is being used as a strategic tool for economic abuse. A recent report from Women’s Legal Services Australia (WLSA) reveals that some fathers deliberately manipulate their financial declarations to minimize or evade child support payments.
According to The Guardian, there are websites that guide men on how to reduce their child support payments by advising them to work for cash, earn less, or declare less income. They might also become self-employed to divert money elsewhere. Additionally, these men often delay reporting any increases in their income and postpone filing their tax returns.
“Non-payment, underpayment, and delayed payment of child support must be nationally recognized as a form of economic abuse that has long-lasting impacts on women and children, entrenching their ongoing financial disadvantage,” stated Lara Freidin, WLSA’s executive officer.
Coercive Control and Financial Manipulation
This misuse of the child support system is not an isolated issue but part of a broader pattern of coercive and controlling behavior. Women who escape abusive relationships find themselves trapped in a new form of abuse—financial coercion.
WLSA reports that approximately 80% of women indicate that child support payments are either deliberately withheld or not paid at all. Similarly, eight out of ten women also report that there is a deliberate effort to minimize financial liabilities by their ex-partners. This manipulation of the system severely impacts the financial stability and recovery of survivors, increasing their dependency and vulnerability.
“Mothers are missing out on supplemental income to support their children, and fathers who have perpetrated family violence are able to avoid paying any child support,” Freidin said.
The report highlights that these men often perceive the payments as benefiting the mother directly, rather than supporting the child, which grants them what is considered an undue level of control.
Systematic Reform and Enhanced Protections
The ongoing abuse through economic manipulation has prompted urgent calls for systemic reforms. The federal government has initiated steps by setting up an expert panel and a stakeholder consultation group to review the child support formula and enhance compliance measures.
However, as WLSA suggests, these measures are just the beginning. There is a critical need for the legal recognition of economic abuse and the implementation of robust mechanisms that prevent the exploitation of child support systems. Such reforms are essential not only to close loopholes that permit financial abuse but also to support the victims in rebuilding their lives without the overbearing control of an abusive ex-partner.
Government and Community Response
The government has committed $5.1 million over five years to study non-compliance and how to help parents if private financial arrangements break down. This investment aims to ensure that compliance with child support payments is strictly enforced.
However, as advocates like WLSA argue, comprehensive reform is required to transform the system into one that genuinely protects and empowers survivors of domestic abuse.
Featured image: Child support is often weaponized as a form of economic abuse. Source: Pixel-Shot / Adobe Stock.
