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Push to Recognize Pet Abuse as Domestic Violence in Tasmania

By
Samara Knight
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domestic abuse and pets

Independent MP in Tasmania, Australia, David O’Byrne, is set to propose a groundbreaking change to Tasmania’s family violence laws this week. The proposed legislation aims to include harming or threatening to harm animals as a form of family violence. This change, if passed, would make Tasmania one of the leading jurisdictions in Australia to formally recognize the profound impact of pet-related abuse in domestic violence situations.

The Proposal and Its Implications

According to ABC News, Mr. O’Byrne emphasized the emotional toll that pet-related abuse can take on victims. “Causing injury to an animal, including a pet, can be an incredibly distressing form of emotional abuse or intimidation,” he said. “It should be defined as family violence” [via ABC News].

Under the current laws, harming a pet could be considered as emotional abuse or damage to property. However, the proposed change would specifically categorize harm or threats to animals as acts intended to coerce, intimidate, or control a partner.

If the legislation passes, it would simplify the process for police and courts to take action against abusers who use pets as a means of control.

How Abusers Use Pets to Control Victims

Threats to harm pets are alarmingly common in abusive relationships. According to Dogs Trust Freedom, a specialist pet fostering service for survivors of domestic abuse in the UK, there is a significant connection between pets and domestic abuse. Their survey with professionals that support domestic abuse victims revealed that:

  • 97% of professionals believed threats to pets were used as a tool to coerce and control.
  • 89% of professionals knew of cases where pets had been used as a tool for emotional abuse.
  • 89% of professionals were aware of cases where pets had also been abused.
  • 59% of professionals knew of cases where pets or an owner’s ability to care for a pet had been impacted by financial abuse.

In the United States, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) reports that 71% of pet owners entering domestic violence shelters have had their abuser threaten, injure, or kill family pets.

According to the NCADV, abusers often use pet-related abuse to coerce their partner or children, stop victims from leaving, or force them to remain silent about the abuse. This pattern of behavior underscores the critical need for laws that specifically address pet-related abuse in domestic violence cases.

The National Domestic Abuse Hotline in the U.S. provides guidance for victims on how to protect their pets when planning to leave abusive relationships.

Family violence support service Engender Equality has seen the devastating effects of using animals in coercive control. “It’s incredibly common. By far the majority of people who are accessing our service are also concerned about their animals,” said Engender Equality chief executive Alina Thomas. “People will use whatever mechanism they can to control their partner. Pets are a very effective mechanism. It can be very, very subtle” [via ABC News].

Ms Thomas explained that when people are in a crisis and need to leave their home, it can be hard to think about how to accommodate their pets. Often, individuals will choose to stay to ensure their pet’s safety, making this a highly effective method of control.

Government’s Response and Future Steps

Premier Jeremy Rockliff has welcomed the proposal and indicated the government’s openness to consider it.

The Tasmanian Justice Department has noted that while family violence laws already include damage to ‘animate or inanimate property’, the specific recognition of harm to animals could further strengthen protections for victims. Tasmania was one of the first jurisdictions to introduce emotional abuse, threats, or intimidation as family violence offenses, including abuse related to pets.

Ms. Thomas emphasized the pressing need for housing and specialist support services that cater to both victims and their pets. She stressed the importance of having crisis housing solutions where animals can stay with their owners, as well as long-term housing options.

As Tasmania moves forward with considering this critical change, it represents a significant step towards comprehensive support for domestic abuse victims. Recognizing the abuse of pets as a form of family violence acknowledges the deep emotional bonds between pets and their owners.

Featured image: Domestic abuse and pets. Source: adan / Adobe Stock.

Richard Spencer’s Harrowing Experience of Abuse

By
Samara Knight
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Richard Spencer

In March 2024, a new Channel 5 documentary called My Wife, My Abuser: The Secret Footage, revealed the chilling 20-year ordeal of Richard Spencer, who suffered relentless abuse and coercive control at the hands of his wife, Sheree. His decision to share his story aims to shed light on the often-overlooked plight of male victims of domestic abuse.

Sheree Spencer Jailed After Nanny Cam Captures Abuse

Yahoo News reports that mother of three, Sheree subjected Richard to a horrifying campaign of physical and emotional abuse for two decades. This disturbing chapter of Richard’s life finally came to a close in February 2023, when Sheree was sentenced to four years in prison and given an indefinite restraining order. Her crimes, which included regular acts of violence and psychological manipulation, left Richard feeling trapped and fearful of the consequences of speaking out.

Richard recounted how he sometimes cowered on his hands and knees on the floor. Sheree, often under the influence of up to three bottles of wine a day, would punch, kick, slap, and bite him. Hull Crown Court heard how she would degrade him with threats of physical violence, creating an atmosphere of constant fear and humiliation.

The abuse was sustained by Sheree’s coercive and controlling behavior, which included threats, verbal assaults, false allegations, and three counts of assault and occasioning actual bodily harm. As she was led away to the cells, Sheree grinned, seemingly unrepentant for the terror she had inflicted on her husband.

A Controlling and Violent Marriage

Spencer’s reign of terror was marked by sadistic assaults, taunting, threats, and humiliation. Richard’s life became a living nightmare, where he suffered severe physical injuries, including a disfigured “cauliflower ear” and a chipped elbow from being hit with a wine bottle. The verbal abuse was equally brutal, with Sheree shouting orders and whispering sinister threats in his face, showing utter contempt for him.

A neighbor overheard the constant stream of abuse and recalled Sheree saying, “You’re not a f***ing man. I want you out of my life.” According to Hull Live, Sheree also said to Richard, “No wonder your mummy died, I’d have f***ing died being related to you” 

The abuse intensified when the family moved to London, with Sheree striking Richard on the back of the head with a wine glass, resulting in stitches. In one incident, she slashed a tire on Richard’s car with a kitchen knife before lunging at him and causing a 2cm cut below his knee.

The horrific behavior finally came to an end in June 2021, when a concerned welfare worker alerted the police.

Documentation of Abuse

Richard handed over 43 photographs of his injuries, 36 video clips, and nine mobile phone recordings to the authorities. Sheree’s abusive behavior extended to destroying his property, including laptops, phones, and clothes. Her unpredictable and threatening actions led Richard to become estranged from his family.

In court, Richard expressed his deep scars from the two decades of abuse, stating he feared he would never fully recover. He described how Sheree controlled every aspect of his daily life, even dictating which room he could sleep in and which toilet he could use. “She threatened to make false allegations to the police,” he revealed, adding that he felt trapped and became increasingly desensitized to the abuse.

Even after her arrest, Sheree continued to exert control over Richard during Family Court hearings, falsely claiming to be the victim, and forcing him to defend himself against her allegations.

Defense barrister Richard Pratt KC said that alcohol played a significant role in Sheree’s behavior, though this provided little mitigation for her actions. Judge Kate Rayfield described Sheree as having a short temper, being controlling, and causing significant psychological harm to her vulnerable husband. She noted that two hours of recorded incidents highlighted the severity of the abuse.

The Turning Point: Nanny Cam Footage

Sheree’s violent actions were finally exposed when footage from a nanny cam installed in their home revealed the extent of her abuse. The cameras, originally bought for reassurance after the birth of their eldest daughter in 2015, played a crucial role in her conviction. One of Richard’s friends saw the shocking footage and reported it to the police after Sheree had falsely accused Richard of threatening her.

The footage showed Sheree holding a carving knife and making threats, which she later lied about to the police. However, the audio accompanying the video clearly captured her menacing words, dismantling her fabricated story.

A “Shocking” Case

Sheree’s defense argued that her behavior was heavily influenced by alcohol and prescription medication. However, Judge Rayfield emphasized the profound psychological harm inflicted on Richard, noting the history of violence and abuse. In March 2023, Sheree was sentenced to four years in prison and given an indefinite restraining order.

After the sentencing, Richard spoke to the media, expressing his relief but also the enduring impact of the abuse. “I have become resigned to the fact that I will never fully recover from her abuse and that it will have a permanent damaging impact on mine and my family’s life,” he said. Sheree had manipulated him into believing he deserved the punishment, leaving deep emotional scars.

Raising Awareness of Male Domestic Abuse Victims

By sharing his story, Richard hopes to raise awareness about the issue of male domestic abuse victims. His harrowing experience highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing all forms of domestic abuse, ensuring that no victim feels isolated or powerless in their struggle for justice.

Featured image: Richard Spencer. Source: YouTube Screenshot / Channel 5.

Man Jailed for Keeping Wife Like a Prisoner in Her Own Home

By
Samara Knight
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Murtaza Syed

In a disturbing case that sheds light on the devastating effects of coercive control, Murtaza Syed from Peterborough, UK, has been sentenced to two years and six months in prison. His wife endured a harrowing two-year ordeal. She was kept a virtual prisoner in her own home, subjected to humiliating and degrading treatment, and cut off from any means of seeking help.

A Life Under Total Control

Murtaza Syed, 47, of Century Square, Peterborough, exercised absolute control over his wife’s life. Cambridge News reports that she was not allowed to close the door while using the bathroom, had her body examined for marks indicating adultery, and was forced to take a lie detector test. These controlling practices were designed to degrade and dehumanize her. Syed ensured she felt powerless and constantly under suspicion.

Syed deprived her of a phone or any electronic devices, preventing her from seeking help or maintaining contact with the outside world. He constantly changed the pins and passwords for all household devices, further isolating her. The woman was not allowed to leave the house unaccompanied or without his permission, keeping her trapped and completely dependent on him.

A Call for Help

The woman’s courageous call to the police on February 23rd brought her nightmare to light. She disclosed the mental and physical abuse she had suffered for two years. The most recent assault occurred just days before, on February 18th. On that day, Syed threw a lighter at her eye and repeatedly punched her in the head. This was just one of many violent episodes that left her living in constant fear.

Despite Syed’s initial denials during the police interview, he eventually admitted to coercive and controlling behavior and one count of causing actual bodily harm. He confirmed making his wife take a lie detector test, which she passed. Nevertheless, he he continued to impose his oppressive rules and restrictions. His actions left her without any means of reaching out for help, creating an environment of total control and domination.

On July 11th, Murtaza Syed was sentenced at Peterborough Crown Court to two years and six months in prison. An indefinite restraining order was also issued, preventing him from contacting his victim.

Understanding Coercive Control

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour designed to dominate and restrict the freedom of another person. This form of abuse can be as damaging as physical violence, leaving lasting psychological scars.

In the UK, coercive control became a criminal offence under the Serious Crime Act 2015. It recognizes the severe impact of non-physical abuse on victims. According to the Office for National Statistics, an estimated 2.3 million adults aged 16 to 74 years experienced domestic abuse in the last year, with coercive control being a significant component of this abuse.

Detective Sergeant Louis Scott emphasized the severity of Syed’s actions: “The impact of Syed’s behaviour on his wife shouldn’t be underestimated; she was left feeling helpless and like a prisoner in her own home. No person should have to suffer this kind of abuse, and it’s important to also highlight that domestic abuse isn’t always just physical” [via Peterborough Matters].

He continued, “Victims can also suffer from the threat and fear of injury, daily intimidation, and having every aspect of their life monitored and controlled. Coercive control is a criminal offence, and as this case highlights, we take all reports of it very seriously.”

Featured image: Murtaza Syed. Source: Cambridgeshire Police.

Financial Abuse: How Abusers Use Money to Manipulate and Control

By
Samara Knight
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financial abuse

Financial abuse is a form of domestic abuse where one partner uses money and financial resources to exert control and power over the other. This insidious form of abuse is often overlooked but can have devastating impacts on the victim’s independence and well-being. Financial abuse can occur during a relationship and persist even after separation, creating significant barriers for the victim to leave and rebuild their life.

Understanding Financial Abuse in Relationships

According to UK charity, Surviving Economic Abuse, one in every five women in the UK has experienced financial abuse by a current or former partner. It typically occurs alongside other forms of domestic abuse, such as coercive control.

During a marriage or partnership, financial abuse can manifest in numerous ways:

  • Restricting Access to Bank Accounts: An abuser may keep sole control of the finances, preventing their partner from accessing money or making financial decisions. For instance, some victims may have to ask for money every time they need to buy groceries or clothes for their children. One woman shared with me how she needed to ask permission every time she needed formula milk for their baby. This level of control leaves the victim feeling utterly powerless and dependent.
  • Controlling Household Finances: This might involve giving the victim an allowance and monitoring every penny spent. Some victims may have to follow a strict weekly budget and provide receipts for everything they buy. Any deviation from the budget could result in severe consequences, such as withholding money for basic necessities. My husband would tell me to spend less on the food bills. Meanwhile, he would spend large amounts of money on his personal hobbies, such as remote control cars and model boats.
  • Stealing Money or Assets: Abusers might secretly take out several credit cards in their partner’s name and max them out, leaving the partner with enormous debt. This form of financial sabotage can destroy the victim’s credit score and financial stability.
  • Forcing Partners to Hand Over Paychecks: Some victims work full-time but never see a cent of their earnings because their abuser demands they deposit their paycheck into the abuser’s account. This leaves the victim with no money of their own and completely dependent on the abuser for any financial needs.
  • Sabotaging Work Opportunities: Abusers may prevent their partners from going to work or advancing in their careers. When the abuse extends beyond finances to include control over all economic resources and opportunities, it is referred to as economic abuse. One woman reported to me that her husband threw a mug of coffee all over her clothes just as she was leaving for a job interview. Some victims may be forced to stay home to cater to their abuser’s needs, causing them to miss important meetings and jeopardize their job security.
  • Running Up Debt on Joint Accounts: Abusers may run up large amounts of debt on joint accounts and take out loans in their partner’s name. These actions leave the victim with financial burdens that are difficult to escape.
  • Refusing to Work or Contribute Financially: Some abusers refuse to get a job and insist that their partner support them both, while they control how the household income is spent, leaving the victim with no financial autonomy.
  • Forcing Partners to Commit Financial Fraud: In some extreme cases, abusers might coerce their partners into signing fraudulent tax returns or other illegal financial documents, leaving the victim to face potential legal consequences.
  • Limiting Access to Financial Information: The abuser might handle all the bills, investments, and banking, keeping the victim in the dark about their financial situation. Some victims are left unaware of their financial standing and completely dependent on the abuser. When I asked my then-husband for access to our accounts, he told me I had to ‘earn’ that right. He said I needed to prove my responsibility by regularly updating my phone and computer, and he would conduct weekly checks to ensure I was doing so.
  • Reckless Spending: Abusers may engage in reckless spending on gambling, alcohol, drugs, or have a spending addiction, depleting shared resources and leaving the victim financially insecure and stressed about covering basic needs. My ex-husband lost all our business savings to a cryptocurrency scam, despite my warnings. He would also spend excessively whenever he was stressed, ordering endless gadgets, tools, and electronics.

The methods of financial abuse keep victims trapped because they lack the financial means to leave and support themselves. This is particularly challenging when children are involved. A parent may stay in an abusive relationship to ensure their children have a roof over their heads and food on the table. Without access to money, victims often feel they have no way out.

Financial Abuse Post-Separation

Financial abuse doesn’t necessarily end when the relationship does. Many abusers continue their manipulation by hiding assets during divorce proceedings. For example, they might transfer money to secret accounts and undervalue shared assets to reduce the victim’s share of the settlement, leaving them financially vulnerable.

Exhausting the partner financially through legal abuse is another tactic. An abuser might drag out divorce proceedings, file frivolous lawsuits, or constantly change custody arrangements to rack up legal fees. Many victims find themselves spending thousands on legal fees fighting relentless court battles, draining their savings and causing immense stress.

Refusing financial support for children is another method. After separation, some abusers refuse to pay child support, or they work cash-in-hand jobs and underreport their income to reduce payments. They do this knowing it will strain the victim’s finances and affect their ability to care for the children.

Combatting Financial Abuse

Addressing financial abuse requires action at multiple levels. At the government level, stricter laws and regulations are needed to protect victims. Policies that ensure fair distribution of assets during divorce and stronger enforcement of child support payments can provide significant relief.

In a landmark announcement earlier this year, the UK Home Office unveiled a new initiative to provide financial aid to victims of domestic abuse, aiming to offer them a safe escape from harmful situations. As of January 31, 2024, domestic abuse victims can avail of £500 to cover emergency expenses when they leave an abusive relationship. They can also apply for a one-time payment of up to £2,500 to get them started in establishing an independent future.

In Australia, the government has committed $5.1 million over five years to study non-compliance and how to help parents if private financial arrangements break down. This investment aims to ensure that compliance with child support payments is strictly enforced.

Socially, increasing awareness about financial abuse is crucial. Educational programs can help people recognize the signs and understand their rights. Support groups and financial counseling services for survivors can provide the necessary tools to regain financial independence.

The Centre for Women’s Economic Safety in Australia offers free Money Clinics for women experiencing financial abuse, who are concerned about their finances in the context of domestic violence. In the UK, Surviving Economic Abuse works in partnership with frontline organizations that directly support victim-survivors so they can identify and respond to economic abuse.

On a personal level, victims can take steps to protect themselves. Keeping copies of financial documents, maintaining a secret bank account, and seeking legal advice can help. It’s also important to build a support network of friends, family, and professionals who can provide assistance and guidance.

Conclusion

Financial abuse is a powerful tool used by abusers to control and manipulate their partners, leaving lasting impacts on their lives. Recognizing the signs and understanding the various methods used is the first step in combatting this form of abuse. Through collective efforts at the governmental, social, and personal levels, we can provide victims with the resources and support they need to escape and rebuild their lives.

Featured image: Financial abuse. Source: Lightfield Studios / Adobe Stock.

Short Film ‘Gaslighting’ Portrays Reality of Psychological Abuse (Video)

By
Samara Knight
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Short film Gaslighting

The short film “GASLIGHTING” by Qbit Films realistically captures the disturbing reality of psychological abuse through its portrayal of a controlling and manipulative relationship. Throughout the narrative, we see the abuser employ classic gaslighting techniques to destabilize and control his partner.

The protagonist is subjected to relentless guilt-shaming, projection, and confusing behavior, leaving her in a constant state of self-doubt.  Her attempts to address the issues are met with further hostility and blame, effectively trapping her in a cycle of emotional and psychological abuse.

As the film progresses, the victim is pushed to her breaking point by the abuser’s relentless provocations. Overwhelmed by the constant emotional assault, she smashes a plate in fury. This aligns with real-life scenarios where victims, driven to their limits, sometimes react aggressively themselves. Known as ‘reactive abuse’, these actions can be used to further blame and control them.

Unlike many portrayals of abuse, where victims are depicted as passive and weak, “GASLIGHTING” presents a more accurate and empowering narrative. The protagonist is shown as a strong and assertive woman who constantly tries to stand up for herself despite the ongoing manipulation and abuse. This reflects the reality for many victims who are not merely passive sufferers but are actively engaged in fighting for their dignity and autonomy.

The film’s portrayal of the victim’s resilience, and ultimate reclaiming of her power, provides a powerful counter-narrative to the often one-dimensional depictions of abuse survivors.

Featured image: Gaslighting by Qbit Films. Source: YouTube Screenshot / Qbit Films.

Man Who Violently Assaulted His Girlfriend Walks Free in Ireland

By
Samara Knight
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Colin Curtis

In a decision that should attract outrage, 38-year-old Colin Curtis from Crusheen, Co Clare, Ireland, has been handed a suspended sentence for a brutal assault on his then-girlfriend. Judge Francis Comerford, presiding at Ennis Circuit Court, sentenced Curtis to two years and six months in prison, but the term is suspended, meaning Curtis will only serve jail time if he breaches court orders or commits further offenses.

Colin Curtis Tells His Girlfriend She Will Leave the House Dead

Breaking News Ireland reports that Colin Curtis’s attack occurred on May 26, 2023, at an apartment on Parnell Street, Ennis. During a vodka-fueled assault, Curtis violently restrained his girlfriend and threatened her life, telling her, “You are not leaving this house b**ch until you are dead.” The assault lasted for an hour and left the victim with multiple injuries, including bruises on her head, neck, arms, and legs.

Counsel for the State, Lorcan Connolly SC, reported that the victim presented herself at the local Garda station at 11:55 PM on the night of the attack, visibly injured and distressed. Connolly detailed the extent of the victim’s injuries, including a lump on her forehead, swelling on both sides of her jaw, and various bruises. “The woman described Mr. Curtis punching her in the face and pulling her around the sitting room ‘like a rag doll,’” Connolly said [via Breaking News].

Judge’s Rationale Behind the Suspended Sentence

Despite describing Curtis’s actions as a “horrendous assault” that “terrorised” the victim, Judge Comerford imposed a suspended sentence based on “exceptional circumstances.”

In his remarks, Judge Comerford stated that Curtis had shown remorse and was taking steps to address his alcohol addiction.

What Judge Comerford seems not to realize is that, while alcohol abuse may exacerbate violence, it does not cause it. A state of intoxication simply shows more of who they already are.

Curtis’s legal counsel, Patrick Whyms BL, argued that Curtis was genuinely remorseful and had made significant efforts to reform his behavior. Whyms presented character references from Curtis’s current partner and an unnamed employer, who described him as “friendly, polite, and always willing to go the extra mile.”

According to Whyms, Curtis had stopped drinking and using drugs and was working to rebuild his life. His victim is likely to face significantly greater challenges in ‘rebuilding’ and recovering from her ordeal.

Victims Are Tired of the Same Narrative

A recurring frustration among victims of domestic violence, and the organizations that protect them, is the predictable narrative that accompanies cases involving abusers like Colin Curtis.

Every time we see an abuser in court, they’re quick to apologize and present themselves as someone who made a ‘mistake’ rather than someone who repeatedly terrorized their partner. The reality is that these so-called ‘nice’ and ‘friendly’ individuals are the same ones who commit heinous acts of violence behind closed doors. Public facades of respectability do not erase the brutality experienced by their victims.

The narrative masks the true nature of domestic violence. It implies that abusive behavior is an anomaly in an otherwise commendable character, rather than an inherent aspect of the abuser’s personality.

Irish Judicial System’s Handling of Gender-Based Violence

The controversial decision comes just one month after a suspended sentence was handed to Cathal Crotty, a 22-year-old soldier in the Irish Defence Forces who beat a woman unconscious in Limerick. Crotty had also been described in court as an upstanding citizen of good character.

The incident, which took place on May 28, 2022, saw Crotty attack Natasha O’Brien, 24, without provocation. The suspended sentence sparked widespread outrage and protests across the country. Protests revealed fury around the decision, which reveals systemic issues within the judicial system regarding the treatment of gender-based violence cases.

The suspended sentence handed to Colin Curtis has not only failed to provide justice for the victim but has also cast a shadow on the judicial system’s approach to domestic violence cases. It reveals a troubling leniency towards perpetrators of violence and reflects a systemic failure to protect victims and address their needs adequately. Women are being let down by a legal system that appears more inclined to mitigate the consequences for abusers than to support those who suffer from their violence.

Featured image: Colin Curtis leaving court after the verdict. Source: Breakingnews.ie.

Navigating the Darkness: Leslie’s Story of Overcoming Coercive Control

By
Samara Knight
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Leslie's story of coercive control

Leslie’s story begins in her early twenties, a time she recalls with a mix of nostalgia and regret. At 24, Leslie was navigating life post-college when she crossed paths with a man outside a hair salon. Initially, their interaction seemed innocent and typical; he was charming, and they quickly connected. Leslie, intrigued by his demeanor, exchanged numbers with him.

As Leslie and her new acquaintance began dating, she was swept off her feet. Leslie was enchanted by his attentiveness and the way he wined and dined her, a pattern known as love bombing. She overlooked the fact that he was 15 years older than her, convinced that their connection was genuine. But his initial charm soon began to morph into something darker.

Early Signs of Control

The relationship, at first, appeared to be a standard romance. However, early signs of manipulation soon emerged. One significant incident during a dinner outing revealed his volatile nature. When Leslie, struggling with spicy food, coughed repeatedly, her date erupted in rage at the restaurant staff. His outburst, which ended in the restaurant owner asking them to leave, was the first sign of his unstable temperament.

Leslie, despite feeling uncomfortable, dismissed this incident as an isolated event. The manipulation gradually intensified. He began to control various aspects of Leslie’s life, starting with her social interactions. He discouraged her from seeing friends, particularly a close male friend from college, and undermined her relationship with her mother. Soon Leslie found herself isolating from those she cared about, not recognizing the red flags as they appeared.

Another red flag appeared when he lost his car. Leslie initially believed it was a minor inconvenience, but this was part of a larger pattern of dependence and manipulation. He soon began using her car and finances more heavily, creating a growing sense of entitlement and control.

From Control to Abuse

As their relationship progressed, Leslie’s partner’s manipulative tactics became more overt. He began to spend more time at her place and eventually moved in without discussion. The transition from being a partner to a cohabitant was abrupt, catching Leslie off guard. Her money, which she had been diligently saving, started to support him as he lost his job and became increasingly dependent on her.

It wasn’t long before the emotional abuse escalated to physical violence. A seemingly playful tap on his shoulder turned into a shocking moment when he backhanded Leslie, leaving her stunned and in pain. This incident, though minor compared to other forms of abuse, marked the beginning of a pattern of physical aggression. Leslie’s reality began to shift from occasional bursts of anger to a consistent, degrading treatment.

Financial and Emotional Collapse

Leslie’s world continued to unravel as her partner’s behavior became increasingly erratic. His addiction to drugs further complicated their lives. He began hiding drugs in their home, and when Leslie discovered and disposed of them, his reaction was one of violent anger. He manipulated her into believing she owed him money to replace the drugs, further tightening his control over her.

This period marked Leslie’s deepest descent into emotional and financial turmoil. She found herself working multiple jobs to support both herself and him, all while being subjected to further abuse. Her life revolved around trying to meet his demands, leaving her isolated and financially strained.

The relationship’s end came when Leslie discovered her partner was unfaithful. This betrayal, coupled with the ongoing manipulation and abuse, was the final straw. Leslie decided to escape, initiating what she described as her “own witness protection program.” She changed her phone number, jobs, and even relocated to distance herself from him.

Reclaiming Her Life

Leslie’s escape marked the beginning of her recovery and empowerment. She rebuilt her life, focusing on her career and personal growth. Today, Leslie works in sales, a position she has held for 15 years, which she describes as both successful and fulfilling. Reflecting on her past, Leslie now recognizes the signs of abuse and manipulation that once seemed normal.

Though she initially struggled to identify herself as a victim of abuse, Leslie’s journey has led her to a place of strength and clarity. She has learned to set boundaries and understand what a healthy relationship looks like. Leslie’s story is a powerful testament to the resilience and courage required to break free from coercive control and abuse.

Featured image: Leslie. Source: YouTube Screenshot / National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Crossbow Killer Paralyzed from Self-Inflicted Wound After Triple Murder

By
Samara Knight
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crossbow killer

Kyle Clifford, who is accused of murdering a BBC racing commentator’s wife and daughters, is reportedly paralyzed and may never walk again after shooting himself with a crossbow and severing his spinal cord. This development follows the brutal deaths of Clifford’s ex-girlfriend, Louise Hunt, 25, her sister, Hannah, 28, and her mother, Carol Hunt, 61, at their home in Bushey, Hertfordshire.

Crossbow Killer Went After Ex-Girlfriend

The Guardian reported that on the evening of Tuesday 9 July, Carol Hunt, 61, the wife of the BBC 5 Live commentator John Hunt, and their daughters Hannah, 28, and Louise, 25, were found fatally injured in their home, having been shot with a crossbow. CCTV footage captured Kyle Clifford leaving the Hunt residence with the crossbow wrapped in a white sheet. He has since become known as the ‘crossbow killer.’

Clifford allegedly exercised a manipulative and controlling grip over his ex-girlfriend, Louise, for six months before the horrifying triple murder. His actions included dictating her social activities, controlling what she could wear, and limiting her interactions with male friends. These behaviors are classic signs of coercive control, where the abuser seeks to undermine the victim’s autonomy and self-worth.

Coercive control can sometimes lead to more violent acts, and even murder, as seen in this tragic case. Findings from the NSW Domestic Violence Death Review Team revealed that between 2000 and 2018, 97% of intimate partner domestic violence homicides were preceded by the perpetrator using coercive control towards the victim

Clifford’s Attempted Suicide

After the murders, Clifford was discovered in a cemetery in Enfield, North London, with serious injuries. According to the Manchester Evening News, Clifford shot himself with a crossbow bolt, which may have severed his spinal cord. He was found unconscious by armed police and airlifted to the Royal London Hospital in Whitechapel. Medical experts have indicated that he is likely to be permanently paralyzed, a consequence of his desperate actions to avoid arrest.

Although he is now under police guard, Clifford has not been interrogated due to his condition. Hertfordshire Police have confirmed that the Major Crime Unit continues to investigate the murders but have refrained from commenting on Clifford’s medical state.

The Triple Murder and Community Impact

John Hunt, the BBC commentator and husband to Carol, has expressed the profound devastation caused by the loss of his family. He described the situation as a “horrid evil that’s swept through our lives” and praised his surviving daughter, Amy, for her strength and support during this trying time.

The community has been deeply affected by the loss of the Hunt family, mourning the deaths of three beloved individuals and grappling with the impact of the tragedy.

Featured image: Hannah Hunt, Louise Hunt, and Carol Hunter. Source: Facebook.

One in Four Domestic Abuse Cases Closed Without Action

By
Samara Knight
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domestic abuse cases closed
domestic abuse cases closed

A recent Sky News investigation in the UK reveals a troubling trend in domestic abuse cases: more victims are seeing their investigations closed due to lack of evidence, despite their desire to pursue justice. This trend is raising alarm among experts and advocates, who say it significantly undermines victim safety and justice.

Statistics Reflect a Rising Problem

Exclusive data obtained by Sky News through Freedom of Information requests to police forces in England and Wales shows a significant increase in cases where police investigations into domestic abuse are closed without further action. In 2019, 23% of domestic abuse cases were closed due to evidential difficulties. By 2023, this number had risen to 27%, reflecting a growing trend in cases ending without prosecution.

This classification, known as a Type 15 outcome, occurs when a crime is confirmed, and the victim supports police action, but “evidential issues” prevent the case from progressing. The statistics are striking: among the 29 police forces that provided data, the number of cases closed this way has grown significantly over the past four years.

Domestic abuse is an extremely prevalent crime in the UK and elsewhere. According to a recent report by the National Police Chiefs’ Council (NPCC) and the College of Policing, the police record nearly 3,000 calls relating to violence against women and girls each day.

Evidential Challenges in Domestic Abuse Cases

One of the key issues contributing to these closures is the challenge of meeting the high evidential threshold required for prosecution. Detective Inspector Adam Gascoigne of Derbyshire Constabulary’s high-risk domestic abuse unit explains: “The threshold that needs to be met to get cases to court is extremely high, and there must be a realistic prospect of conviction for the matter to proceed. Unfortunately, in some cases the evidence simply isn’t there to secure that, so the difficult decision has to be made that a matter is closed outcome 15, which means it does not proceed to court.”

This high threshold is particularly problematic in cases involving coercive control, a form of domestic abuse criminalized in 2015. Coercive control involves a pattern of behavior intended to control and dominate the victim, often including psychological and emotional abuse.

Coercive control cases are complex and challenging to prosecute, leading to a higher rate of Type 15 outcomes. In 2023, 34% of stalking and harassment cases, which included coercive control, were closed for evidential reasons, up from 30% in 2019.

Impact on Victims and the Justice System

The rising number of closed cases is having a profound impact on victims. Amy Bowdrey, policy and public affairs officer at domestic abuse support charity Refuge, remarks: “It speaks to what we as an organization hear from survivors all the time. Often at Refuge, we will encourage survivors to keep a paper trail of evidence. To know that in a large proportion of those cases that evidence is there, but the police just aren’t taking it seriously, is really, really concerning for us” [via Sky News]

The problem is compounded by workforce pressures and significant backlogs within the criminal justice system. The police workforce has grown by 36,000 since 2019, nearly restoring numbers to pre-austerity levels. However, the rise in reported crime has outpaced workforce growth, resulting in a 60% increase in the number of crimes recorded per police employee since 2010. Additionally, the courts continue to struggle with large caseload backlogs, which exacerbate delays and impact case outcomes.

Calls for Improved Coordination and Support

The National Police Chiefs’ Council (NPCC) acknowledges the need for improvement in handling domestic abuse cases. Assistant Commissioner Louisa Rolfe, NPCC Lead for Domestic Abuse, states: “Tackling domestic abuse is a priority for policing and we are committed to protecting victims, bringing perpetrators to justice, and preventing these horrific crimes. We have made vast improvements in the way that we respond to domestic abuse… But, we know that there is more to do to support victims and bring more perpetrators to justice” [via Sky News]

Efforts are underway to address these challenges through initiatives like the Domestic Abuse Joint Justice Plan, which aims to enhance collaboration between police and prosecutors to ensure stronger case files. As the situation evolves, it remains crucial to address these evidential and procedural challenges, ensuring that victims of domestic abuse receive the justice and protection they deserve.

Featured image: Domestic abuse victim. Source: Krakenimages.com / Adobe Stock.

Signs You Are Being Emotionally Abused by Your Partner

By
Samara Knight
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Signs you are being emotionally abused

No relationship is perfect and when one or both partners are dealing with stress, it is not uncommon for there to be arguing, shouting, name-calling and criticism. So how can you tell whether the difficulties you are facing in your relationship are normal, or whether you are being emotionally abused?

In her book, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing, internationally recognized therapist, Beverly Engel, outlines several criteria that distinguishes normal conflict from emotional abuse. These include whether it is constant, as opposed to occasional; whether the intent is to devalue, denigrate, control, or dominate; and whether there is an overall attitude of disrespect toward you.

“A wife who occasionally complains that her husband doesn’t make enough money isn’t necessarily being emotionally abusive,” Engel writes. “But if she constantly tells him he is stupid, lazy, and a failure because he does not make enough money, she is being abusive” (Engel, 2002, p. 39).

Signs You are Being Emotionally Abused

If you suspect that you are being emotionally abused, read through this check list and consider whether any of these factors apply to your relationship.

  • Your partner imposes rules you must follow or micromanages aspects of your daily life, such as what clothes you wear, what you eat, what hobbies you have, what work or study you do.
  • You feel as if your partner treats you like a child.
  • Your partner constantly corrects and chastises you.
  • You ask permissions before going somewhere or making minor decisions.
  • Your partner makes decisions that affect you without discussing them with you first.
  • You access to finances or the way you spend money is tightly controlled even though your partner spends freely on themselves.
  • You are treated as though you are inferior or not good enough.
  • Your partner compares you to others who are more intelligent, more educated, more fashionable, or ‘better’ than you in one way or another.
  • You are regularly insulted, dismissed, criticized or degraded.
  • Your partner does not respect your need for privacy and repeatedly crosses your boundaries.
  • Your partner monitors your communications, activity, or location.
  • You feel as though your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings don’t matter.
  • You hide what you think or feel because you are afraid of your partner’s reaction.
  • Your partner belittles your successes, aspirations, or plans for the future, or trivializes what is important to you.
  • Your partner demands obedience and orders you around.
  • Your partner plays mind games and deliberately does things to confuse you.
  • You feel intimidated, bullied, or harassed by your partner.
  • Your partner has double standards.
  • Your partner denies things they did or makes you feel that you are imagining things or recalling things incorrectly.
  • Your partner gets frustrated or angry when you are sick or injured.
  • Your partner will argue a point for so long that you become exhausted and relent.
  • Your partner constantly demands your time and attention.
  • Your partner twists your words and uses them against you.
  • You find yourself ‘walking on eggshells’ and being careful not to upset your partner.
  • You carefully monitor your partner’s mood before bringing up a subject.
  • Your partner emotionally blackmails you or threatens to reveal personal information about you to others.
  • You have become isolated from family and friends because your partner criticizes them, discourages contact, becomes jealous, or embarrasses you in front of them.
  • Your partner withdraws affection or gives you the silent treatment when they are upset with you.
  • Your partner tries to undermine or sabotage your relationship with your child or children.
  • Your partner lacks empathy and compassion with you.
  • Your partner uses guilt trips or shaming to get their way.
  • Your partner feels they are always right and regularly insists on getting their own way
  • Your partner tells you that you are too demanding when you ask for things and you feel guilty when you express your needs within the relationship.
  • You regularly feel misunderstood by your partner.
  • Your partner accuses you of flirting or cheating on them.
  • Your partner threatens to end the relationship or threatens self-harm or suicide if you don’t do what they want.
  • Your partner says things to upset or frighten you.
  • Your partner’s gifts or gestures come with conditions or expectations of reciprocity.
  • You feel that you can never please your partner and that nothing you do is right.
  • Your partner has frequent mood changes and can become easily enraged.
  • Your partner regularly insults your or makes fun of you in front of others.
  • You feel that you have to earn your partner’s affection or approval.
  • Your partner blames you for their own problems, feelings, or behavior.
  • Your partner rarely apologizes or admits when they are wrong.
  • Your partner pressures you to do things you are not comfortable with.

If half or more of these apply to your relationship, you are definitely being emotionally abused. However, if even a few of these features are present in your relationship, you may still be being emotionally abused.

“More than anything else, what characterizes an emotionally abusive relationship is a consistent pattern of hurtful, humiliating, and condescending behavior,” explains Engel (2002, p. 17).

Similarly, Brian Davenport, in his book Signs of Emotional Abuse: How to Recognize the Patterns of Narcissism, Manipulation, and Control in Your Love Relationship defines emotional abuse as “an ongoing pattern (not a one-off occurrence) of behavior and words meant to systematically diminish and confuse you” (Davenport, 2016, p. 7)

Realizing That You Are Being Emotionally Abused

Davenport (2016) explains that it is common for victims of emotional abuse to be confused about whether their partner’s behavior really is abusive.

“They know something is off. They know they’re in a lot of pain. But all too often, victims are reticent to call what’s happening in their relationship “abuse,” writes Davenport (2016, p. 1). “In fact, they are quick to blame themselves for their partner’s behaviors, or they look for logical reasons why this person who was once loving and kind (and may still be from time to time) can behave so hurtfully.”

Recognizing and acknowledging emotional abuse is the first, vital step towards reclaiming your life and well-being. Accepting that the person you love can be an abuser is painful, but it opens the door to healing and recovery.

By understanding the signs and patterns of emotional abuse, you can make informed decisions about your future, seek the necessary support, and start to rebuild your sense of self-worth and independence. Taking action, whether it involves setting boundaries, seeking professional help, or leaving the relationship, empowers you to break free from the cycle of abuse and move towards a healthier, happier future.

References

Davenport, B. (2016). Signs of Emotional Abuse: How to Recognize the Patterns of Narcissism, Manipulation, and Control in Your Love Relationship.

Engel, B. 2002. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing. John Wiley & Sons, Hoboken, New Jersey.

Featured image: Are you being emotionally abused? Source: oatawa / Adobe Stock.

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