Dublin woman Nicola Hanney endured a four-year campaign of abuse and coercive control by her former partner, Garda officer Paul Moody. Their relationship, which began in 2016, quickly became a nightmare of manipulation, harassment, and threats. In 2022, Moody was sentenced to three years and three months in prison, making him one of the first in Ireland to be convicted under the country’s coercive control laws.
The Beginning: A Promising Relationship
In 2016, after surviving Stage 4 cancer, Nicola was eager to embrace life again. She met Paul Moody, a serving Garda, through a dating app. Initially, Moody appeared caring and attentive. Nicola, still recovering from her illness, found comfort in his affection. At first, his behavior seemed like devotion; Moody’s constant texting and calls felt supportive.
However, the dynamic slowly shifted. Moody’s attentiveness turned into control. He began messaging her constantly, questioning her whereabouts, and demanding her attention, even when she was with friends or family.
“If I went in to visit my sister, he was practically on the phone for the whole time I was visiting my sister,” Nicola explained [via RSVP Live]. “A couple of times he said to me I don’t want to spend one day without you, I didn’t obviously think he meant it, but he actually really meant it.”
Nicola rationalized his behavior, mistaking it for love and devotion. But soon, the signs of coercion became evident.
Escalation of Control and Abuse
Defying medical odds again—Nicola had been told she would never conceive due to her cancer treatment—she discovered she was pregnant with Moody’s child. She had already been seeing warning signs in their relationship by then and was broken up with him at that time. Now, the pregnancy only deepened her sense of entrapment and became another tool for Moody to exert control.
Nicola discovered that her cancer had returned during her pregnancy. Despite this, Moody intensified his abusive behavior instead of offering support.
The Journal reports that on the day their son was born, Moody visited the hospital and made horrific comments, saying he only went there in the hope to watch her “bleed to death.” The nurse overheard him and he was escorted ut of the building.
“The things he was saying, you definitely wouldn’t say to a woman that was having your baby. It was soul-destroying,” Nicola recalls.
Pregnancy and the Stripping of Independence
After the birth of their child, Moody’s abusive tactics escalated further. When Nicola returned home from the hospital, she found her apartment nearly empty. Moody had taken everything, from household items to items Nicola had bought for the baby. His intention was clear: to force Nicola to live with him by stripping her of her independence.
The abuse continued and became physical after their child was born. Moody used their son as leverage to maintain control, exploiting Nicola’s vulnerability as a mother.
“It only got physical after I had the baby. I didn’t realize the power or control somebody could have over your life just because you had a child from them” [via The Journal].
Pregnancy is a particularly vulnerable time for victims, as abusers often use it to intensify their control, knowing the victim may feel even more trapped and dependent.
The Turning Point and Seeking Justice
The breaking point came as Nicola’s health declined and the abuse persisted. Realizing she needed to escape, Nicola began documenting the abuse, collecting evidence of the thousands of threatening messages and Moody’s controlling behavior. Despite the psychological toll, she was determined to take action.
In 2021, she reported Moody to the authorities. Paul Moody, who had used his Garda position to shield himself, was finally exposed. In July 2022, he was sentenced to three years and three months in prison for coercive control and abuse.
The court revealed that Moody sent over 31,000 messages, including 652 in a 14-hour period—one message every 90 seconds. His texts were threatening, degrading, and abusive, with comments like, “I hope you die of cancer” and “I hope you die in pain.”
This conviction was one of the first under Ireland’s coercive control laws, which came into effect in January 2019, highlighting the legal system’s progress in addressing coercive and controlling behavior.
Moving Forward After the Conviction
Despite the legal victory, Nicola didn’t feel a sense of celebration. Leaving the courtroom, the emotional toll of the trial was heavy. Although Moody was held accountable, he remained the father of her child, complicating her feelings.
“To me, on the way home in the car after the court case, I honestly felt like somebody had died… there was nothing to celebrate for me. That was my child’s father. That affected me for a long time after that.”
Still, Moody’s conviction marked the end of his control over Nicola. She no longer feared her abuser and began rebuilding her life.
Today, Nicola openly shares her experience to raise awareness about coercive control and encourage others in abusive relationships to seek help. She survived cancer twice and escaped an abusive relationship, proving her resilience against overwhelming adversity.
Last year, Nicola appeared in the documentary Taking Back Control on RTE, where she discussed the coercive control she endured. She has also written a book, Stronger: What Didn’t Kill Me, Made Me, detailing her extraordinary journey through abuse and illness, offering hope to others facing similar struggles.
Featured image: Nicola Hanney on The Late Late Show. Source: YouTube Screenshot / The Late Late Show.
