The harrowing bodycam footage from the Moab City Police Department, showing their response to a domestic disturbance between Brian Laundrie and his fiancée, Gabby Petito, has reignited public outrage. The footage is difficult to watch, not only because of the clear signs of emotional manipulation and abuse but because it was a missed opportunity to intervene and potentially save Gabby’s life. Just two weeks after this encounter, Brian Laundrie brutally murdered Gabby Petito.
With the recent release of American Murder: Gabby Petito on Netflix, the case is once again at the forefront of public consciousness. The documentary highlights the insidious nature of coercive control, a form of psychological abuse that isolates and emotionally traps the victim. What stands out from the footage is how Brian Laundrie deployed classic abuser tactics—including gaslighting, minimization, and DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender)—to manipulate the police and paint himself as the victim while making Gabby appear unstable and culpable.
A Missed Opportunity to Protect Gabby Petito
The Moab City Police were responding to a report from a witness who saw Brian Laundrie hitting Gabby. When police stopped their van, Brian maintained a calm, cooperative, and even jovial demeanor, while Gabby was visibly distraught and crying. The stark contrast in their behaviors played into Brian’s manipulations—he knew how to shift blame and control the narrative.
Despite the fact that two witnesses had seen Brian locking Gabby out of the vehicle while she pleaded to get back in, officers ultimately treated Gabby as the primary aggressor. This is a textbook example of how abusers control situations through emotional manipulation, weaponizing their victim’s distress against them.
Gaslighting and Playing the Victim
One of the most striking elements of the bodycam footage is Brian Laundrie’s use of gaslighting—a psychological manipulation tactic in which an abuser makes their victim question their own reality, memory, or perception. Gaslighters often distort events, deny wrongdoing, and shift blame onto their victim to maintain control. Over time, this leads to self-doubt, confusion, and a growing sense of instability in the victim.
Throughout the encounter, Brian appears calm and composed, even making casual conversation with officers. Meanwhile, Gabby is visibly distressed, repeatedly blaming herself and downplaying Brian’s actions. This contrast plays directly into gaslighting tactics, as abusers often present themselves as the rational, reasonable party while their victim appears emotional or erratic—making it easier to discredit them.
Brian repeatedly tells the officers that Gabby was “worked up” and that she needed to “calm down,” reinforcing the idea that her distress was excessive or irrational. By doing so, he subtly frames her as unstable rather than someone reacting appropriately to being mistreated.
Gabby’s response of self-blame is a classic sign of someone who has endured relentless gaslighting. She repeatedly takes responsibility for the conflict, saying, “I was being mean to him.” Victims of gaslighting often internalize blame, believing that if they were just “better” or behaved differently, the abuse would stop. This response shows how deeply Brian’s manipulation had taken hold—Gabby had been conditioned to see herself as the problem rather than recognizing Brian’s abusive behavior.
Minimization
Brian’s statements throughout the footage minimize the severity of the incident:
- “We just had a little disagreement.”
- “I wouldn’t even call it a disagreement.”
- “She was just getting a little worked up.”
His choice of words is deliberate. By minimizing the situation, he not only avoids accountability but also steers the police away from recognizing the danger Gabby was in. This is a common abuser tactic—shifting focus away from their own actions while subtly discrediting the victim.
The Use of DARVO to Manipulate the Police
DARVO—Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender—is a well-documented manipulation strategy used by abusers to shift blame. Brian Laundrie executed this tactic flawlessly during his interaction with police.
Deny:
Brian repeatedly denied being physically aggressive, insisting that he was merely trying to “calm her down.” Despite Gabby showing the officers marks on her face from where Brian had grabbed her, Brian dismissed any notion of abuse, saying, “I wasn’t upset with her, she just got a bit worked up.”
Attack:
Rather than acknowledging his own violent behavior, Brian subtly attacked Gabby’s credibility. He framed her emotional distress as irrational, making statements such as, “She was swinging at me with a lot of nails, a lot of rings.” By focusing on her reaction rather than his own actions, he painted a misleading picture of the situation.
Reverse Victim and Offender:
Brian successfully reversed their roles in the eyes of law enforcement. The officers, instead of recognizing Gabby as the abuse victim, treated Brian as the one in need of protection. In a shocking exchange, one officer even says, “It sounds to me like she is the primary aggressor.” Another adds, “There is injury too, to the victim, which is him.”
To make matters worse, a police officer directly validated Brian’s version of events, saying, “So you just pushed her back to create a bit of distance, right?” This question subtly reinforced Brian’s narrative and minimized Gabby’s distress, further solidifying the officers’ perception of him as the victim.
A Tragic Outcome
Despite visible evidence of Brian’s aggression, the police ultimately sided with him, sending him to a hotel for domestic violence victims while leaving Gabby alone in their van. This decision, tragically, contributed to the chain of events leading to her murder just two weeks later.
Gabby Petito’s death was not an isolated tragedy—it was the predictable outcome of a system that too often fails victims of domestic abuse. The bodycam footage serves as a devastating reminder that abusers know how to manipulate authority figures, and when those in power fail to recognize the signs, the consequences can be fatal.
Featured image: Brian Laundrie on bodycam footage. Source: YouTube Screenshot / Fox 13 Tampa Bay.
