Gareth Jones endured a harrowing ordeal of controlling and coercive behavior inflicted by his ex-girlfriend, Sarah Rigby. Over a six-month period, Jones, an NHS project manager, endured an intense and emotionally devastating pattern of abuse that left him isolated from family and friends, physically unwell, and driven to the brink of suicide.
Rigby’s Coercive Control Over Jones’ Daily Life
According to Manchester Evening News, Gareth Jones first met Sarah Rigby, a student nurse, in 2021 on the Plenty of Fish dating website. Their relationship quickly deteriorated as Ms Rigby began exerting coercive control over every aspect of his life.
One of the most alarming aspects of the abuse was her control over his physical appearance and diet. She forced Mr Jones to lose weight, restricting him to salads and berating him if he ate anything more substantial.
Rigby insulted his appearance, calling him names like “fat” and “sweaty,” and even went as far as making him swallow toothpaste and drink mouthwash if she detected any food odors she didn’t like. Despite losing a significant amount of weight, Jones continued to face verbal abuse about his appearance.
Financial and Social Isolation
Rigby also exerted financial control over Jones, forcing him to hand over his wages and demanding he pay for a £3,000 expert report during her custody battle with her ex-partner. She claimed that he was legally obliged to support her financially, and she even denied him access to basic facilities in the house, such as the toilet and shower. Jones had to relieve himself at public places like libraries or pubs, further dehumanizing him.
His phone and email were under constant surveillance, with Rigby checking his messages and social media accounts, leaving Jones with little to no privacy. In addition to being isolated from his family and friends, he was forced to create a code word with his mother, allowing him to communicate only when it was safe.
The Physical and Emotional Toll
The extent of Rigby’s coercive control reached its peak when she would frisk Jones before he left the house, ensuring he wasn’t taking anything she hadn’t approved.
She would frequently throw him out of the house, once even forcing him into the street dressed only in his underwear. During these instances, he would have to wait until she allowed him back inside, often spending his workdays in public spaces like the library or a café.
Rigby also withheld his personal belongings, including sentimental items, and once made him buy her a £400 Marc Jacobs bag during a shopping trip.
The emotional toll on Jones was devastating. In an interview on This Morning, he described how the constant belittlement and control led him to feel degraded, worthless, and ashamed. He developed paranoia about his personal hygiene, fearing that any trace of food or odor would result in further abuse.
He became emotionally scarred, losing all self-esteem, and even began carrying a “grab bag” of essential items like a toothbrush and towel, in case he was abruptly thrown out again.
Abuse Escalation
Jones’ coercive and controlling behavior escalated when Rigby physically assaulted him, clawing at his face and forcing him to sleep on the floor as punishment. On another occasion, she falsely accused him of breaking her ribs, demanding compensation from him despite medical evidence showing no injuries. Rigby manipulated Jones by sending him numerous abusive messages, and when he apologized, she would threaten to report him to the police, using his apology as false evidence.
One of the most significant impacts of the abuse was the severe isolation Jones experienced. He could no longer have unsupervised phone conversations, and all his communications with his family were monitored. Rigby would control what he could say to his loved ones, adding to his sense of entrapment. He feared that any attempt to leave her would result in her destroying his belongings or falsely accusing him of assault, which she had done with previous partners.
After finally fleeing the property, Jones was left with no possessions and had to start his life over from scratch. Financially drained and emotionally broken, he described the experience as demoralizing and left him feeling a deep sense of emptiness.
Aftermath and Recovery
The aftermath of the abuse continues to affect Jones. He remains deeply fearful of being in another relationship, terrified that he will be subjected to coercive control again. The emotional scars from the abuse have left him unable to trust others fully, and he experiences anxiety when he sees someone who resembles Rigby in public. Speaking out about his experience as a male victim of domestic abuse, he highlighted the stigma that men face when it comes to recognizing and addressing abuse. Jones bravely shared his story despite the emotional distress it caused, in hopes of raising awareness that men too can be victims of coercive control.
Sarah Rigby was eventually brought to justice after Jones reported her behavior to the police in March 2022. She pleaded guilty to controlling and coercive behavior and received a suspended prison sentence. Despite the court’s acknowledgment of the significant emotional and psychological damage she inflicted on Jones, Rigby showed little remorse during the trial, flaunting luxury items that Jones had been coerced into buying for her. The judge recognized the serious impact of Rigby’s coercive control, stating that her actions had caused substantial harm to Jones’ mental and emotional well-being.
The case highlights the devastating effects of coercive control, an insidious form of domestic abuse that seeks to manipulate and dominate every aspect of the victim’s life. Jones’ courage in speaking out serves as a reminder that men can also be victims of this type of abuse, and it underscores the importance of recognizing and addressing controlling behavior in all its forms.
Featured image: Gareth Jones. Source: Cavendish Press (Manchester)
