Lucy was only 13 years old when she met her first serious boyfriend online. The BBC reports that what began as a fast-moving romance soon spiraled into coercive control, isolation, and abuse. Lucy’s experience highlights a deeply concerning issue: despite clear patterns of domestic abuse, the law currently does not recognize such relationships as domestic abuse when the victim is under 16.
While abusive partners can be charged with other crimes, campaigners argue this legal gap fails to acknowledge the specific dynamics of coercive control and psychological harm experienced by younger teenagers. Lucy’s story is far from isolated. Rising numbers of young people are reporting similar experiences, yet remain legally unprotected under existing domestic abuse legislation.
Social Media, Online Misogyny, and the Rise of Teenage Coercion
Charities and support organizations warn that the digital age is fuelling a dangerous new wave of domestic abuse in teenage relationships. Social media platforms, pornography, and online influencers are normalizing controlling and violent behaviors, turning them into templates for young boys to assert dominance in relationships.
Many young men are being exposed to aggressive, misogynistic content online, often before they fully understand what healthy relationships look like. Experts warn that this exposure radicalizes their views on women and normalizes controlling behavior. For girls like Lucy, these influences manifest in real-world consequences—location tracking apps, constant surveillance, and threats disguised as concern for their safety.
“If people would message me and I was at school, he would message them back and then delete the chats, so I couldn’t see it,” Lucy explained [via The BBC]. “I thought it was normal, because he was my first proper boyfriend.”
The situation is so concerning that, as part of the UK’s new Online Safety Act, Ofcom has introduced child safety rules coming into force this July. These measures aim to limit children’s exposure to harmful content, but campaigners argue that without legal reform and direct education, the damage is already being done.
The Legal Age Dilemma: Are Victims Falling Through the Cracks?
Currently, the UK legal framework defines domestic abuse as occurring only when both victim and perpetrator are over 16. This leaves thousands of younger victims invisible in the eyes of the law. Although criminal charges for assault or harassment may apply, the relational dynamics of coercive control are often overlooked, and victims miss out on specialized support services designed for domestic abuse survivors.
High-profile cases like the tragic murder of 15-year-old Holly Newton by her controlling ex-boyfriend have prompted parliamentary discussions about whether the age threshold should be lowered. Gloucestershire Police, in collaboration with the Home Office, is now piloting a project to gather evidence that could support changing the legal definition of domestic abuse to include younger victims.
Campaigners stress that without such recognition, patterns of coercive control are misclassified as isolated incidents or dismissed as typical teenage behaviour, leaving victims without the help they need to break free.
Education and Prevention: The Key to Breaking the Cycle
While legal reform is critical, experts also highlight the urgent need for early intervention and education. Teaching young people about healthy relationships and helping them recognize coercive control before it escalates could be vital in preventing abuse in teenage relationships.
Debbie Beadle, head of the charity FearFree, advocates for open conversations between parents, educators, and children. She warns that avoiding these topics out of discomfort only increases the risk of young people falling prey to controlling and abusive partners.
Lucy herself believes that if she had been better informed about the signs of domestic abuse, she might have recognized what was happening sooner. Her experience highlights that abuse can happen at any age, and acknowledging this reality is the first step toward protecting vulnerable young people.
Featured image: Abuse in teenage relationships. Source: miss irine / Adobe Stock.
