Economic abuse is a deeply insidious form of control within domestic abuse, often going unnoticed but having profound consequences on the victim’s financial independence and overall well-being.
Survivors of economic abuse frequently find themselves trapped in a cycle of dependency, unable to leave due to their abuser’s grip on their finances. Economic abuse can take many forms, from restricting access to bank accounts and credit cards to forcing victims to account for every penny they spend.
Many survivors have shared their stories on the Shadows of Control Facebook page, revealing the various ways economic abuse manifests, and how it intertwines with other forms of coercive control. These firsthand accounts offer a critical insight into the day-to-day realities of economic abuse and help others understand how control over money can devastate a person’s sense of security and freedom.
Below are 15 examples of what economic abuse looks like, told by survivors who have bravely shared their experiences.
Being Trapped by Joint Debt
“In less than a year, I went from having a $200K mortgage on my house to a combined debt of $2M. As a stay-at-home mom with no savings and no access to money, it was a hostage situation.”
Micromanaging Small Purchases
“My husband never hit me, but he controlled everything. One day, he blew up because I spent more than $2 a day on drinks for my mobile dog grooming business.”
Maxing Out Credit Cards
“He opened credit cards in my name and maxed them out. He spent my money as if it were his own. Before and after, I was an excellent saver, but he didn’t want me to be financially independent. Money is power.”
Co-Signing Debt and Evading Responsibility
“My ex itemized the bill for my emergency C-section and our son’s NICU stay. Even though the cost was zero, he left me with a lease on a three-bedroom apartment and pressured me into co-signing his car loan.”
Allowances and Scrutiny
“She controlled every penny, even giving me an allowance out of my own wages. Then, she’d go through my bank statements, highlighting what I spent the allowance on and questioning why I had to buy fuel or cigarettes.”
Financial Sabotage
“My ex canceled my bank cards so I couldn’t use them. Years later, he’s still trying to destroy my financial security by using lawyers to lie and steal from me.”
Limited Contribution
“My partner hid his money and made me pay for almost everything. His financial contribution stayed the same for 10 years, while I had to cover rising expenses.”
Controlling Joint Accounts
“I misunderstood when my ex wanted to open a joint account. I thought it was about solidarity, but it was really to drain me dry and take every spare penny I had.”
Shifting Financial Responsibility
“When there was money, he’d say, ‘It’s MY money!’ When money was tight, he’d hand me the cards and say, ‘You take care of it,’ then accuse me of spending everything.”
Control Over Employment and Spending
“My ex, a multi-millionaire, wouldn’t let me work and gave me a set amount for groceries each month. I had to ask for more if I needed it and explain why. I’d sneak money from his wallet when he was drunk.”
Clearing Bank Accounts
“My ex would take a large portion of my paycheck. When we had a child, he berated me for maternity leave and said childcare costs were my responsibility alone.”
Accumulating Debt
“He charged up $60,000 on credit cards, always making excuses and promising he wouldn’t do it again. I had to check regularly to ensure he wasn’t sinking us further into debt.”
Refusal to Budget
“He refused to acknowledge finances, leaving me to manage all the bills and household expenses. I couldn’t save a cent, and we were constantly broke.”
Skipping Meals to Feed the Family
“By the end, he was taking so much money that I had to go to the food bank. I lost 25 pounds skipping meals to stretch the groceries for my kids.”
Controlling Contributions
“My ex decided who paid for what. I paid for the condo fees and insurance, while he paid for the mortgage. Even though I made less, he constantly reminded me that I wasn’t contributing enough.”
Economic Abuse: A Hidden Form of Control
Economic abuse is often a hidden form of control, one that is easy for abusers to disguise and difficult for victims to immediately recognize. It frequently occurs alongside emotional and psychological abuse, further entrenching the victim in the abuser’s power. For many survivors, breaking free from economic abuse means not just escaping physical harm but also the crushing weight of economic hardship. Abusers know that controlling a victim’s finances is one of the most effective ways to keep them trapped.
Survivors of economic abuse frequently report long-lasting financial damage, including ruined credit, overwhelming debt, and the loss of their savings and assets. Even after leaving their abuser, many continue to struggle with the financial fallout for years. Economic abuse often forces survivors to rebuild their lives from scratch, both emotionally and economically. Understanding how economic abuse operates is crucial to supporting victims in their journey to reclaim their lives and independence.
Featured image: Economic abuse examples. Source: djile / Adobe Stock.
