Welcome to Shadows of Control, a website dedicated to the insidious form of abuse known as coercive control. In discussions about domestic abuse, the focus is most often on physical violence, while emotional and psychological harm receive little attention.

Coercive control remains underrepresented despite its profound impacts. Shadows of Control is committed to shedding light on this hidden epidemic, aiming to educate, support, and empower those affected by or interested in understanding coercive control’s subtle yet devastating effects.

Through this platform, I aim to:

• Challenge and dissect myths and societal misconceptions surrounding coercive control.

• Outline the profound impact of coercive control on victims and their children.

• Provide information about leaving a controlling partner and navigating the hurdles of post-separation abuse.

• Celebrate resilience and the journey towards healing.

This website explores the dynamics of coercive control primarily in relationships where men exert control over their female partners. While coercive control knows no gender boundaries and is prevalent across all types of relationships, the narrative here focuses on men as the perpetrators because this reflects the vast majority of cases. This emphasis does not negate the existence or severity of abuse in other contexts.

Who am I?

I write with the name Samara Knight, but this is not my real name. It is a pseudonym. Though I've left my controlling marriage, I'm still dealing with legal matters involving my former partner. Therefore, I must maintain this anonymity to protect myself and my son.

I have both a personal and professional interest in coercive control. My own journey is deeply intertwined with this subject, having spent a decade entangled in a high control group and having endured a 12-year marriage characterized by coercive control and emotional abuse. I hold a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and am presently pursuing a MSc in the Psychology of Coercive Control. My goal is to equip readers with informed insights and evidence-based research, as well as to bring a compassionate perspective to the study of this devastating form of abuse.

This website offers a wide range of content encompassing both personal narratives and professional insights into coercive control.

Shadows of Control will feature:

• Latest news about coercive control, such as changes to laws and legislation around the world

• Reports in the new about coercive control, crimes, convictions, and people speaking out.

• Real stories from victim-survivors of coercive control

• Coercive control in the media, including films, TV series, and books.

• Academic research and studies about coercive control

• Recommendations of resources, including websites and books about coercive control

• My own personal experience of a coercively controlling marriage, post-separation abuse, parental alienation, and navigating the legal system.

Why ‘Shadows of Control’?

The title "Shadows of Control" epitomizes the theme of my page, which explores the hidden nature of emotional abuse. It conveys the idea that such control lurks in the background, affecting lives without being directly visible or acknowledged.

It also represents victims of emotional abuse, many whom describe losing their sense of self, their identity, and becoming a mere shadow of their former self as a result of their abuse.

By uncovering and understanding these pervasive shadows, we can shine a light on this insidious form of abuse, empowering individuals to liberate themselves, and embark on a path to healing.